I think of the rainbow babes like this... the rainbow after the storm of sorrow. We are suffering through the storm of sorrow when the universe lets up on the storm and we get a reprise in our sorrow, there is a RAINBOW. They do not "undo" or erase the storm they just make the enduring the storm a little more hopeful. Chris~ Mommy to ^Lucy^ & Danger

Monday, June 29, 2009

Meet Baby #3- Appt Update




Meet Baby # 3 @ 12 wks and 3 days. He/she is measuring bigger and about a week ahead. That is big news b/c Emma/Logan both were very small for their gestational age. Which the Dr felt was b/c of my placenta not being as healthy from day one and then combine the clotting issue and well its not good. So measuring a bit bigger for me was exciting. Also all of my testing for downs/ trimsomy and other chromosome problems came back negative. More good news. And I am also happy to say I am in my 2nd trimester. So 1 down and 2 to go. I can do this just focus on one day at a time and BREATHE!!

The shots are already just a "part of my day". The needle doesn't hurt for the most part but the medicine does burn and in some areas more than others. If this works it will be worth every single prick and burn... My mom keeps saying this baby better appreciate what you have done for it one day. I just hope I get the chance to tell him/her how much they meant to me and that I would have done ANYTHING for them. I will have another ultrasound on Aug 4th and if baby is cooperating we should find out the sex at that point. I don't care either way, but I want to know. Also I know its early but I am feeling little flutters randomly from this little one as well. I cant wait till I definitely know he/she is in there w/ a good kick or punch but for now just enjoying the flutters and tickles...

Most days I feel really good and optimistic about this pregnancy and this baby.. But those bad memories and what ifs still linger on other days. I'm already so in love w/ this little one, it amazes me the attachment you feel especially once you see them on an ultrasound and they look like a baby rather than a bean. And its amazing to think that you get to have the privilege and joy to carry him/her. I just hope my body and me can keep this little one safe until they are safe in my arms...

5 comments:

Inanna said...

Oh mama, your losses have been so great... I have everything crossed for you. And I love the quote in your video... "Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, faith looks up..." I have to remind myself to keep looking up. :)

mrsmuelly said...

Yay for flutters! And s/he is beautiful.
You are totally right, too...every little ache and pain is totally worth it if it helps the baby. So glad that all is going well - just breathe!

Monica H said...

Yes, breathe and take it ine day at a time. Yay foor the second trimester. I'm hopeful for you.

Ya Chun said...

sending you strength and calmness!

Wendy said...

i didn't know they found a clotting disorder! i'm glad to hear you're on lovenox, tho... as yucky as you feel about needles. I'm thinking about you all the time, and hope we both get a rainbow in our arms at the end...