Well I am back. I have been really busy and just not a lot to say. But a lot has happened in the past 6 weeks. First, long story short I had been out of touch with most of my family for 5+ years (my fault) but that has all changed and we have been making up for lost time over the past few weeks. It has been wonderful and it was as if we just picked up where we left off. No awkwardness, just kindness and love. I am loving every minute! My mom and I cant spend enough time together. Our first weekend together we stayed up until 4:30 am just talking. That same weekend we went and visited w/ all my uncles, aunts, cousins, and “nieces & nephews”. I cant believe how they have changed and grown up. They were so sweet. The youngest, Noah was only 2 when everything happened and didn’t remember me, but he gave me a big hug and called me Aunt Mandy. Brought tears to my eyes. The 2 girls Molly & Emily were 8 & 7 when I left, so they of course remembered me, they were so happy and excited to see me. It was quite the “family reunion” so to speak. Here’s a few pictures.
The next big news I just learned as of yesterday. WE ARE PREGNANT! YEP, I GOT A BFP YESTERDAY! It was our first month officially trying and I wasn’t going to test until Wed. but had an extra test and thought lets just see. 3 minutes later, there was the one word PREGNANT. I was flabbergasted, shocked and started to cry. Tears of joy/happiness mixed with fear. I was trying to figure out how to tell Tommy in a cute way, so I had bought him a new pair of jeans the day before and he hadn’t seen them yet, so I put the pregnancy text in the pocket sticking out and told him I hoped he like the jeans and to pull them out of the bag and have a look. At first he didn’t see the test, and then he just looked and said “No way. Your pregnant”. He is very happy but scared and anxious as well. Then today I put the test in a box and wrapped in up and gave it to my mom and dad and said it was just a little something from Tommy and me for everything they have done for us. My dad didn’t know what it was at first and my mom thought for a minute, a purple marker, what? Then they both realized and got very excited. We are all very happy but you can definably tell we are somewhat reserved due to the anxiety as well. There are a couple of pics below. My mom will probably scold me b/c she say she looks terrible, but she just isn’t feeling well. I had to “capture the moment”.
Part of me wants to “shout it from the rooftop” and the other part keeps saying it so early and things could go wrong… for the moment though I am just going to try and enjoy. Pretty sure I am still in shock and it hasn’t sunk in. I called Dr. T (high risk OB) and I have an appt. with him on Wednesday Feb 25 for a viability scan and consultation and also a script to start the Lovenox. So till then we will just wait and see and KFC that there is no bleeding or spotting between now and then. Baby steps… one at a time.
As a side not if I didn’t call or text you personally please don’t be hurt, I was just so worried about hurting others who may be ttc or waiting. I don’t know which way is better but please know I thought about your feelings a lot and truly hope that I cause no pain. I love you all and I am going to need each and everyone of you to “hold my hand” and try and keep me sane. Here’s hoping for a boring, uneventful 9 months and a beautiful healthy, breathing baby that comes home at the end…
