I think of the rainbow babes like this... the rainbow after the storm of sorrow. We are suffering through the storm of sorrow when the universe lets up on the storm and we get a reprise in our sorrow, there is a RAINBOW. They do not "undo" or erase the storm they just make the enduring the storm a little more hopeful. Chris~ Mommy to ^Lucy^ & Danger

Monday, June 29, 2009

Meet Baby #3- Appt Update

Meet Baby # 3 @ 12 wks and 3 days. He/she is measuring bigger and about a week ahead. That is big news b/c Emma/Logan both were very small for their gestational age. Which the Dr felt was b/c of my placenta not being as healthy from day one and then combine the clotting issue and well its not good. So measuring a bit bigger for me was exciting. Also all of my testing for downs/ trimsomy and other chromosome problems came back negative. More good news. And I am also happy to say I am in my 2nd trimester. So 1 down and 2 to go. I can do this just focus on one day at a time and BREATHE!!

The shots are already just a "part of my day". The needle doesn't hurt for the most part but the medicine does burn and in some areas more than others. If this works it will be worth every single prick and burn... My mom keeps saying this baby better appreciate what you have done for it one day. I just hope I get the chance to tell him/her how much they meant to me and that I would have done ANYTHING for them. I will have another ultrasound on Aug 4th and if baby is cooperating we should find out the sex at that point. I don't care either way, but I want to know. Also I know its early but I am feeling little flutters randomly from this little one as well. I cant wait till I definitely know he/she is in there w/ a good kick or punch but for now just enjoying the flutters and tickles...

Most days I feel really good and optimistic about this pregnancy and this baby.. But those bad memories and what ifs still linger on other days. I'm already so in love w/ this little one, it amazes me the attachment you feel especially once you see them on an ultrasound and they look like a baby rather than a bean. And its amazing to think that you get to have the privilege and joy to carry him/her. I just hope my body and me can keep this little one safe until they are safe in my arms...

Saturday, June 20, 2009

12 WEEKS ~ YAY!!!

I am 12 weeks today. Next week I will start my second trimester. YAY!!! One almost down and 2 to go. I can do this. BABY STEPS... One day at a time.

I have another ultrasound of Tuesday. I'm excited to see how much this little one has changed in the past month. From a little kidney bean to looking more like a little person. I'll try to post after my appt but I am going to be out of town for a couple days so might not be until the end of the week.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


WOW.. I knew I hadn't posted in awhile but didn't realize that it had been over 2 months. Guess I def have some catching up to do. I was rereading my last post at the beginning of April and how at the end I said I hoped that month was our month. Well it turns out it was. I know many of you already know but yes we are pregnant and due January 2010 although more than likely we will have our little one in December sometime. April was a happy and stressful month all at the same time. On the 24th I was unexpectedly laid off from work with no promise of a return. I was scheduled for AF the next day or two. I remember thinking on one hand I hope we aren't pregnant b/c that brings up so many issues with not working, need insurance etc. But on the other hand I kept thinking that if we aren't we would be waiting to TTC once again for who knows how long and that was really hard to deal with.

I waited till Sunday to test, I thought I saw a faint line but then talked myself out of it. Tuesday rolled around and still no AF, so I took another test and this time there was a definite second line. I pulled out the first test and the pink line was definitely darker on the 2nd test. I was excited and scared at the same time. I knew DH and myself would be stressing about not only the pregnancy but insurance and everything else. We both were mostly just in shock at first and holding our breath to see if this one would "stick" so to speak. I saw my regular OB and he scheduled an ultrasound to check for viability and a heartbeat. I had that on May 22, at 7 wks 6 days. Our bean was on there moving around and more importantly a good strong heartbeat. I was so relieved. After the ultrasound we started to tell family and some friends. Then on June 9th I finally met with the high risk Dr's (I had a consult w/ them back in Oct.) They had me start on injections of Lovenox 2x a day right away. I was also very happy and impressed b/c before I could even ask "What the plan this time?" he lined it out, especially the big weeks and what type of testing and so forth we will have this time. I told him emotionally I cant make it to 40 wks and he said the furthest he would ever let me go is 39, I said that's still too much, how about 36/37 wks. He said earliest he would like to do anything is 37. Do an amino to check the lungs and then be induced or c-sec. At this point I am thinking c-sec just b/c it takes more things out of the equation for problems such as when in labor. But I also feel very confident in the 3 Dr's I will see and that they will do what is best for me and our baby. I am still so scared but for now I will take it a day at a time and rely on the Dr's.

So I knew that I was going to have to do these self injections 2x a day during this pregnancy and was really nervous b/c I HATE NEEDLES!! The first one I shook, cried and think I even closed my eyes when I put the needle in. LOL But I did it and 6 days later its getting easier and easier. Its just a part of my day now. 8am & 8pm- numb w/ ice, inject and more ice b/c the medicine BURNS... I know it is for a good reason and that makes it easier too. I am 11wks and 3 days today. I will have an ultrasound in 1 week to check for chromosome abnormalities ect. Cant wait to see out little one again...

When I found out we were expecting again I debated on whether I should start a separate blog but I ultimately have decided that I will continue to post on this one about this rainbow baby as well. Emma, Logan and this LO are all intertwined and one wouldn't exist without the other so to speak. So this blog will be a place to share all my feelings whether it be this new LO, or my babies that aren't with me...

8X8 All about Me!

I've been tagged by Mrsmuelly @ The Chronicles of Incompetent Cervix

I did this on Tuesday the 16th but forgot to post. Silly me... Enjoy...

Mention who tagged you.
Complete the list of 8's.
Tag 8 other people.

~Having an ultrasound in one week
~Moving into my 2nd trimester
~Having a bit more energy... I am so TIRED
~Finding out if this little one is a boy or girl
~Feeling the first flutters and kicks from this little one
~December and meeting this little one and bringing him/her home
~As much as I love being pregnant, when this one is over.. and baby is safe in our arms
~Seeing Tommy with this little one.....

~Slept in till 11- life of being on unemployment
~Had lunch w/ my neighbors (she is 10 wks further than me) Burgers, fries and strawberries...
~Gave myself my shots- 2x
~Watched TV
~Talked to my mom on the phone
~Took a nap... I know I had a rough day
~Helped Tommy water all our flowers and his garden, everything is beautiful!!

~Have Emma/Logan here with me now.. Man would I have my hands full
~Go on a vacation- beach, sun, warm
~Have enough money to fix our house.. kitchen, bathroom, new carpet...
~Know that at the end of this pregnancy that I WILL bring home this rainbow baby!!
~Figure out if I need to work or can stay home the rest of this pregnancy
~Travel with my hubby
~Go to sleep and wake up with our baby in my arms...skip the worry and anxiety filled months to come.
~Not worry and stress about the outcome of this pregnancy...

Grey's Anatomy
Desperate Housewives
The Bachelorette
Private Practice
The Next Food Network Star
Wipeout- With Tommy for a good laugh
Rachel Ray...

~Fresh fruit in season- strawberries/blueberries/blackberries/grapes/pineapple/watermelon
~Cookies- chocolate chip or craizen oatmeal
~Tomato soup and grilled cheese
~Twice baked potatoes
Ok so now I'm hungry...

Grand Cayman
South Dakota
North Carolina

New Zealand


Toni at Toni Conrad

Jodi at Life is Now

Chelsea at The Drews

Elizabeth at The Paynes

Your turn! Tell me all about it :-)