I think of the rainbow babes like this... the rainbow after the storm of sorrow. We are suffering through the storm of sorrow when the universe lets up on the storm and we get a reprise in our sorrow, there is a RAINBOW. They do not "undo" or erase the storm they just make the enduring the storm a little more hopeful. Chris~ Mommy to ^Lucy^ & Danger

Friday, October 30, 2009

31 wks

31 weeks tomorrow :D Wow.. that means in 6 weeks or less our baby girl will be in our arms. I am feeling really good and different about this pregnancy, I cant explain it exactly. I guess I really am starting to feel like the shots are working and that things will be different this time. BUT then my mind starts to wonder and I realize that 6 wks is still an eternity when you have had 2 losses. It doesn't help that we lost Emma at 31 wks. That thought defiantly keeps creeping in, but then I remind myself that Amelia is already a good pound or more than her sister at this point gestationally. I also try to focus on the fact that Amelia is very active and even has the hiccups at this very moment. I keep reminding myself things are different this time. But I am still scared. Thank goodness for weekly appointments and my wonderful awesome team of 4 high risk Dr's that calm my fears constantly. I have to continue to have faith and believe that we will bring this rainbow home. So I will keep moving forward, getting her room ready and counting down the days till we meet her and at the same time be grateful for every moment I get with her.

Here are a few pregnancy shots my mom took of me last week. Its something I meant to do with the other two and never did, so I am making sure we take lots this time. Enjoy :D

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

29 1/2 Weeks... 8 or less to go

I will be 29.5 wks tomorrow. So happy for that. We had an ultrasound one week ago and once again confirmed defiantly a girl and she was 3 lbs 2 oz. Which is great :D The dr was very happy w/ her size and everything else. Such a relief. We were in the room that has the 3D capability so we got a few shots of her as well. She was head down and "snuggled up w/ my placenta" as the tech said so we couldn't get a great straight on shot but the ones we did she had the cutest, most perfect little bird lips and adorable nose. Of course I'm her mommy so that's my opinion. We even could see in some of the shots that her eyes were open. Very cool, never saw that w/ the other two. Next Tues the 27th I will start weekly NST's and appts. And then 2 wks after that another ultrasound to check her growth yet again. I also have become very obsessive about tracking her busy time of the day and doing my kick counts. A good friend of mine gave me a Kicktrak that stores the last 10 days and how long it took to feel 10 kicks, movements etc. She is consistently active when I first wake up around 8-8:30 and most of the morning. She seems to sleep more in the afternoon and then is more active again after dinner. My Dr's tell me that if I notice the slightest change in these or seems to take longer to feel her 10 movements to call and come to the hospital to be checked. They also told me that kick counts are more important diagnostically than even having a Doppler to check her heart rate at home. This is due to the fact that a babies heart rate can vary so much anywhere from 110-180. So even if that number seems low it might not mean a problem. But seeing a change in her movement is an indication that there maybe a problem. Most mornings she is cooperative and I get my kicks/movements fairly quickly but some mornings she is a bit slow and for a few moments I begin to worry and wonder if we will be making a trip to the hospital but then she will "wake up" as to say I'm ok mom. I cant believe that she will be in my arms in less than 8 wks. Some days that seems like an eternity still but it really is right around the corner. The next few weeks will be hard due to the fact that we lost Emma at 31 wks. But overall I really do have a good feeling this time. Every time I get a great report at the Dr's. I think wow we really will make it this time. Don't get me wrong I still have the occasional doubt and worry.. but trying to focus on the positive and stay optimistic.

On that note of being positive, my mom and I finally packed up all the boy stuff that was in the nursery and started organizing and getting ready for this little princess. It went a lot better emotionally than I thought it would. We still have more to do in there but had to put it on hold b/c my brother in law is coming for a visit and will stay in there. My mom and I also started a quilt for Amelia. I cant wait till it is done and she is here :D

I am finally starting to get excited and am hopeful for a great outcome this time!!

Here are a couple pictures from my ultrasound and one of the quilt laid out in squares...