MIA AGAIN... CATCHING UP

WOW.. I knew I hadn't posted in awhile but didn't realize that it had been over 2 months. Guess I def have some catching up to do. I was rereading my last post at the beginning of April and how at the end I said I hoped that month was our month. Well it turns out it was. I know many of you already know but yes we are pregnant and due January 2010 although more than likely we will have our little one in December sometime. April was a happy and stressful month all at the same time. On the 24th I was unexpectedly laid off from work with no promise of a return. I was scheduled for AF the next day or two. I remember thinking on one hand I hope we aren't pregnant b/c that brings up so many issues with not working, need insurance etc. But on the other hand I kept thinking that if we aren't we would be waiting to TTC once again for who knows how long and that was really hard to deal with.

I waited till Sunday to test, I thought I saw a faint line but then talked myself out of it. Tuesday rolled around and still no AF, so I took another test and this time there was a definite second line. I pulled out the first test and the pink line was definitely darker on the 2nd test. I was excited and scared at the same time. I knew DH and myself would be stressing about not only the pregnancy but insurance and everything else. We both were mostly just in shock at first and holding our breath to see if this one would "stick" so to speak. I saw my regular OB and he scheduled an ultrasound to check for viability and a heartbeat. I had that on May 22, at 7 wks 6 days. Our bean was on there moving around and more importantly a good strong heartbeat. I was so relieved. After the ultrasound we started to tell family and some friends. Then on June 9th I finally met with the high risk Dr's (I had a consult w/ them back in Oct.) They had me start on injections of Lovenox 2x a day right away. I was also very happy and impressed b/c before I could even ask "What the plan this time?" he lined it out, especially the big weeks and what type of testing and so forth we will have this time. I told him emotionally I cant make it to 40 wks and he said the furthest he would ever let me go is 39, I said that's still too much, how about 36/37 wks. He said earliest he would like to do anything is 37. Do an amino to check the lungs and then be induced or c-sec. At this point I am thinking c-sec just b/c it takes more things out of the equation for problems such as when in labor. But I also feel very confident in the 3 Dr's I will see and that they will do what is best for me and our baby. I am still so scared but for now I will take it a day at a time and rely on the Dr's.

So I knew that I was going to have to do these self injections 2x a day during this pregnancy and was really nervous b/c I HATE NEEDLES!! The first one I shook, cried and think I even closed my eyes when I put the needle in. LOL But I did it and 6 days later its getting easier and easier. Its just a part of my day now. 8am & 8pm- numb w/ ice, inject and more ice b/c the medicine BURNS... I know it is for a good reason and that makes it easier too. I am 11wks and 3 days today. I will have an ultrasound in 1 week to check for chromosome abnormalities ect. Cant wait to see out little one again...

When I found out we were expecting again I debated on whether I should start a separate blog but I ultimately have decided that I will continue to post on this one about this rainbow baby as well. Emma, Logan and this LO are all intertwined and one wouldn't exist without the other so to speak. So this blog will be a place to share all my feelings whether it be this new LO, or my babies that aren't with me...