I think of the rainbow babes like this... the rainbow after the storm of sorrow. We are suffering through the storm of sorrow when the universe lets up on the storm and we get a reprise in our sorrow, there is a RAINBOW. They do not "undo" or erase the storm they just make the enduring the storm a little more hopeful. Chris~ Mommy to ^Lucy^ & Danger

Thursday, December 25, 2008

One Year Ago...

I have been in a funk lately. On the 23rd last year I took a HPT and found out we were expecting again. I had been in such a bad place and it was our first month of trying after our Emma passed in September. Even before I took the test I told myself, its only the first month, don't get your hopes up. I had already told myself it would be negative, I prepared myself for the disappointment. But there it was in BIG pink letters "PREGNANT"! I was shocked! Tommy was away for the night so I couldn't tell anyone. I did call one friend but swore her to secrecy until I told Tommy the next day. Its funny how with just the one small test and that word I suddenly felt hope again. We were pregnant and we would bring our rainbow home. A baby brother or sister for Emma. The next day as soon as Tommy was home I told him. He was so happy and excited as well. We both realized it was still very early and a lot could go wrong but we couldn't resist calling family and friends. We needed all the support and help we could get over the next 9 months. I was so scared something would go wrong, but I truly deep in my gut thought it wont happen again, lightening doesn't strike twice. HA. Boy was I wrong.
I told Tommy the other night I cant believe it is almost 2009. But that I am quite happy to see 2008 go. Its once again been a year of unbelievable joy and sadness all mixed into one. I remember saying something very similar last year at this time as I said farewell to 2007. The last 2 years have brought more love, joy, sadness, anger, disappointment, excitement, grief... then some people experience in a lifetime. It wasn't all bad because I will always cherish every moment that I spent prego with Emma and Logan right up to the point that I said hello and goodbye in the same breath.
Here's hoping that 2009 is better and that FINALLY we will bring home our RAINBOW BABY!

3 comments:

Brenna's Mom said...

I found out I was pregnant on the 21st of last year. I'm hoping 2009 is better as well.

Monica H said...

I'm hoping 2009 is a better year to for all of us.

Teri Enciso-Albarano said...

i pray that you get your rainbow baby! i have faith that it will happen.