Well I have made it 4 months by the end of this week. In 2 weeks at my next OB check and ultrasound I will be 1/2 thru this pregnancy (b/c they will most likely take this little one by c-sec/ or induce me @ 37 wks). WOW!! That's a good feeling. I am still nervous but just for today I am trying to enjoy what is happening. Speaking of that, a wonderful friend of mine, love ya Liesel sent me her Doppler to use while prego. I have been able to find the heartbeat 2x so far. I am trying not to go overboard with using it all the time. But last night I just marveled at my baby's good strong heartbeat in the mid 150's. I must say that is the BEST SOUND IN THE WORLD!! I recorded it on my phone so I can just play it back every once in awhile. Then as I was falling asleep I felt my first definite "flutters". As if this LO was saying I'm in here and I'm ok mom. I do love those first flutters and cant wait till I get some good kicks and Tommy can feel it as well!!
My emotions are up and down so I went to a chiropractor/nutritionist that deals with emotions and I do feel better after seeing him. I wish I could go to him every couple of weeks but since he is almost 2 hrs away that's a little hard. But I will go as often as I can. Its amazing how things in your past can effect your thoughts now and you don't even realize it. I really do feel "lighter" after seeing him... at least till the next major freak out. LOL
On another note I am quickly approaching the 1 yr mark for my precious baby boy Logan. Its hard to believe that last year at this time I was 8.5 months pregnant and getting all ready for him. Its sad but at the same time I feel a certain peace about it as well. I miss him terribly as well as his big sister and I will always have pieces of me missing. But I also know that letting go a bit is good for me and this new LO. In fact the ultrasound where we will hopefully find out boy/girl is on August 4th (Logan 1 yr). I scheduled that without even realizing but again I think its a good thing. A moving forward and yet remembering as well. I love you Emma/Logan and miss you both very much!!!