I think of the rainbow babes like this... the rainbow after the storm of sorrow. We are suffering through the storm of sorrow when the universe lets up on the storm and we get a reprise in our sorrow, there is a RAINBOW. They do not "undo" or erase the storm they just make the enduring the storm a little more hopeful. Chris~ Mommy to ^Lucy^ & Danger

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Saturday- Finding A Dress

So about yesterday, Saturday. I had to go find a dress for a wedding next weekend of our good friends. Tommy is in the wedding so I really want to look nice even though I may not feel the greatest. And I am really self conscious about my belly right now. I dont want to look pregnant. Plus the only thing that fits me right now are maternity clothes, so needless to say I need something new. One of my BF went with me to offer help and just in general be supportive. First she wanted to take me to lunch so we went to Eat N' Park. Of course we ended up w/ the only pregnant waitress in the place, the table behind us the lady was prego and then another one about 3 tables down. So of course I am feeling surrounded. But I held it together. And I just kept being very sarcastic, guess that was my way of dealing so that I didnt completely lose it. Then to top it all off right before we're leaving a mom and dad come in w/ twins. Once again a slap in the face, she got 2 healthy perfect babies at once. And I couldnt even have one. Grrr!! Needless to say it was definatly time to get out of there.
So we went to our local mall which doesnt have a ton of options, the first store Maurices I tried on a bunch of dresses plus some other stuff I can wear for work. They were having great sales 60 % off clearance that was already marked down. So I got a bunch of stuff for work, but didnt find a dress yet. So then we went to JcPenney. Turns out they too were having sales on all there fancy dresses. So I tried on like 10 different dresses and found one that works. It is really pretty, hides my belly, actuantes the good stuff and is longer, so it covers my pasty white legs ( I dont tan). So it had everything I was looking for, plus it was originally $90 and I got it for $50. So that was good too. Got some nice jewelry to go with it as well. (I'll post pics of it and us next weekend.) Again I managed to hold it together. Well then I had to pick up pictures I had dropped off, pictures of friends/family holding Logan after he was born. So I finally let myself lose it. Tears, more tears and the usual thoughts... Its unfair!!! I WANT MY BABY!!!!


mrsmuelly said...

I'm convinced that pregnant women or those with new babies followed me for the first 3 months after loosing Brayden. It has gotten better...or maybe I find it easier to ignore them now. I'm sorry that you are "being followed". I know it hurts.